It comes in many forms, from the utterly filthy and reprehensible to the subtle and elusive but equally damaging. Here at GoneWithTheWin, we are complete social justice warriors, out to do what is right even if no one else is willing to.. While some may fight for equality in skin color, age, religious beliefs, there is absolutely no one willing to advocate and fight for equality in the seedy, dark, underside of gaming. That’s right. We’re talking about the shameful public display of digital racism. It’s not a topic many are willing to talk about out in the open. Many look away in shame, others walk away seemingly uninterested in discussing this with you until you notice them wipe a small tear from their cheek as they look back in horror.
I approached a man on the bus, and I asked him how he felt about PC racism. He scratched at his belly and then thumbed off nuggets of last night’s vomit cheese from his stubble. He told me to give him $2 because he lost his wallet and he has no money for lunch or another bus ride. That’s how disgusting this worldwide epidemic has become. It’s right in everyone’s face, flaunted at places like E3, PAX, and more. “Not available on PC”. “PC Version coming at a later date”. “PC Version if you sign a petition”. “Stand over there in the higher resolution section PC scum”. Well, we’re not going to take it anymore!
What do we have that console and mobile gamers don’t have? Just because we use more fingers to play a game, and have pinpoint accuracy with our mice means we deserve to wait, LONGER for the same thing everyone else is already playing on their ? Just because PC’s are the master race and we know it, we get treated differently for being slightly different, but completely superior? And when it does finally arrive, that “PC port” they call it, some of these hoodlums purposely do all sorts of nasty things to our games, bad netcode or even NO netcode, frame rate caps, resolution caps, why that makes me so mad I could paint my face a solid color and just scream.
This week’s ace in the a-hole is Team Ninja. Their PC release of Dead or Alive 5: Last Round was a karate chop to the Adam’s apple of every PC gamer in the universe. That’s like 200 billion gamers. First off, what are PC games known for? High resolution. By default, this game goes up to only 1920×1080, and you have to hack it to have it display anything else. Are you serious? Second, the game engine is PS3/360 Quality, not even the inferior yet less offensive Xbox One/PS4 physics was used. Why? No reason was given, something about it being a more “pure experience” that’s racist!
Now Team Ninja promised it’s customers online capability by June of this year, after releasing DOA5 with no online code (strike 2). So it’s June, where’s the online code? Team Ninja, released a statement July 1 (had to wait to the day after June ended didn’t ya’ dirtbags?) saying that the online code was not ready and not near completion. They gave the following statement over the phone when we called:
“Moshi Moshi. We have done seppukku to online mode for Dead Or Alive 5. You are PC gamer. Do seppukku on you too.”
These are the things no one wants you see, and no one wants you to care about. That’s too bad because we’re someone and we care. They don’t want you look at it, and it’s right there peeing on your nose. But WAIT, there’s more.
Note on the left, the familiar pricing page for DLC. Now what do you see? $64.99, $74.99, $34.99, $55.99. Now look at the screen shot for the console store. “Free If You Have No PC”. Charity for console gamers? I don’t think so. This is a message, a clear one to those who do not eat that extra Pop Tart, who pass on going to the movies, who steal their little brother’s lunch money, and saved up every penny to buy that double Titan X, 800GB RAM, decacore PC setup at home, that you can afford to pay a little more for everything. How is that fair?
Notice evidence exhibit 1.2A-B9213. Actual game prejudices on display here. On the left the PC version. Dead Or Alive features punches and kick that induce a “critical stun”. These powerful attacks render the opponent unable to move for a split second. Seen here on the left the fighter known as Lisa, who is much browner in the PC version for some reason (probably due to the Playstation 3 engine used in the port), she reaches over to stun Christie’s armpit. The resulting shockwave of underarm power is graphically represented by the spread waves. However let’s look at the console version, BOTH armpits exploded in stunning delight. Also in the PC version, Christie’s feet are digging into the sand as if she’s sinking deep into the sand. But not the console version clearly shoes ten little piggies nicely painted in aqua marine. It’s almost as if they are blatantly saying “PC Gamers are sinking into the sand and we hope they die”. Did they think no one would notice?
Seen here is a side by side screen capture of popular Dead or Alive character Christie, do I really need to explain what’s wrong between the PC and Console versions here? Distorting the mammary organs of characters just because of platform preference is just blatantly bigoted, and the effect is even doubled when compared to PS4/Xbox One screens which utilize far superior physics algorithms not present in the PC Version.
Ok Team Ninja, it’s obvious you win this time. You didn’t get away with it though. In protest, we have been sending this developer constant videos of us playing Street Fighter IV, and Mortal Kombat X. I even sent them a personal video of myself calling Capcom pre-ordering Street Fighter V on PC. Sure, they may have hung up on us every single time and I’m pretty sure these peabrained programmers have run out of ways to call us “losers” in a variety of languages. But the Master Gaming Race will win in the long haul, we know it, and they know it.